The Homeschooling Committment-One Month In

After thinking about whether I could homeschool, researching homeschooling, and then deciding to homeschool, I have finally begun to homeschool and actually made it through a month or so.  I am doing it.  Way back in the dark corners of my mind I never really thought I could accomplish such a daunting task.  It was a tremendous responsablity that I was, frankly, afraid of.  I think that I have overcome my fear.  I am feeling more and more confident as time goes by.  My desire to do the right thing has surpassed my fear. 
How is it going?  I want to quit.  I want to quit, but I am not going to.  I am going to stick it out.
Here are the problems.  The most difficult to overcome is  keeping Abby focused.  Some days we spend more time recovering from a distraction than learning the day's lesson.  But, knowing this is typical of her age and this is the first year, I can't complain.  I just have to hope that I have enough time to fit it all in. 
Another issue arose just recently when I was walking through the local homeschooling store.  It is doubt.  I wonder if I will be able to teach my daughter everything that she requires to pass tests and more importantly, succeed in today's world.   I kept seeing things I wanted to use, books that looked so enticing and informative, but I had to pass them up because I would never have time to add anything more to my current curriculum.  I feel uneasy and I wonder if the one I chose is adequate enough to get her where she needs to be.  I guess it is like that saying that the grass is always greener on the other side.  I don't think I should go into that store again until it is time fornext year's planning.  
Finally, I think dealing with an emotional, distractable, and very playful six year old is going to be the death of me. I am so used to loosing my temper and yelling when Abby doesn't listen that I forget that if I do that when we are homeschooling, then I may as well forget about teaching her anything else for the day.  She shuts down, of course. So I bang my head against the wall, take a few deep breaths,and sometimes I just put everything away and release her to go and play.  She jumps out of the chair like there is a spring under her behind and I look up and pray. 
 This doesn't happen everyday, we did well today.  There was no yelling, and we actually laughed a lot.  It made me think that I made a tiny breakthrough in my thinking about how to teach, being uneducated in that area. I have realized that when the student is having fun she is more open to learning.  I know everyone is saying, "really?" " You are just now coming to that realization?" No, I was aware of that simple fact, but it is very hard to apply. It is not easy to make addition into a game or to make science interesting for a child.  Hint, gross is good.  Kids love ooey, gooey, sticky and slimey things.  They also love cute little animals, and  cartoons on the computer.  One other thing that is working for me to help keep Abby focused is to reward her with time on her computer game.  These are all things that I am learning are wonders at making a kid think they are playing and not learning. 
We have also enjoyed being a member of a homeschooling group in the city.  I am geting help from other moms and Abby is making friends and socializing.
All in all, I think we are both learning and becoming more and more accustomed to this new way of educating and I will continue to keep updating this blog, hopefully helping someone out there make it through the process a little easier.